Another baseball season is underway and Fox in their consistent absurdity is trying to convince viewers that Eric Byrnes is anything more than an insipid jock fueled by Red Bull and a desire to be the next Carrot Top. His contrived schtick, combined with the recent passing of Mark Fidrych, succeeds in only providing a depressing reminder that those authentic characters who used to populate the sport are now just fading memories. Eccentrics like Tug McGraw and Jay Johnstone and Bill “Spaceman” Lee weren’t jockeying for licensing deals or an XM Radio gig, they were just slightly batshit. They had a knack for reminding fans that what they were taking part in was still a “game.”

And as for Byrnes… he still hasn’t touched the plate.